W.A.L.T...write a persuasive text. For the past few weeks our class has been writing a persuasive text on weather cellphones should be banned from schools or not. What I found difficult was trying to figure out how to put my text together. What I enjoyed was finding facts to back up my statements. What I need to work on is my use of punctuation and try and add more facts to back up my opinion.
Dear:______
I strongly believe that phones should be banned from schools, as it may be a distraction for the students in the class. I think that phones are a huge distraction of our generation. They can also have an addiction to their phones, which makes this generation unable to communicate with the people around them. If we allowed phones to be used during school time, students at our school that may be using phones would highly likely to become less talkative and unsociable. This would happen because the students would spend heaps of time on their phones checking out their texts social media etc.
The first reason why I think we should ban phones from our school is because like I said in the beginning of this letter it could become a huge distraction to the children. Like what would we need them for anyways? When we have the tools at school e.g computers and the office phones.
Secondly, I hear all these people saying, “We should allow phones at school, because in case of an emergency we can call our parents so that they know we are safe” I mean yea that could be a reason, but if we allowed the phones at school and if there really was a emergency, then the phone towers would get blocked because everyone is trying to get ahold of other people, so there's really no point in taking your phone to school.
Pursuing this further if we did allow phones at our school, during a test some people could cheat and try to get answers from their phones because they are allowed to have their phones during the test.Also if something like that happened and someone caught them in the making of the incident then the teacher would have to deal with what the student has used their phone for, so then we would have less learning time because the teacher is to busy dealing with someone's bad behaviour.
Therefore this is why I strongly believe that phones should be banned from schools.
Great work Atalina, I too believe that phones are a distraction. You have a great opening statement that introduces all of the things you will discuss. Maybe next time you could add more facts to back up those reasons in your paragraphs. You made an excellent point about phone towers being jammed. I remember this happening in the February 2011 earthquake. Keep up the great work Atalina.
ReplyDeleteHey Atalina,
ReplyDeleteI think you have have a wonderful job explaining why you think cell phones should be banned. Maybe next time you could think about making some of your sentences a bit shorter in your paragraphs. Overall I think your writing was outstanding, you made me re think about my argument that cell phones should not be banned in schools. Can't wait to see more great work from you.
- Mikaela